Posts Tagged ‘a+e’
Taking on a new identity.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: May 24, 2012
Hopefully this won’t be offensive to anyone, in general, with its topic matter. Warning for discussions of self harm, eating distress and general madness. *** I think when one is first diagnosed with a mental health problem, or first realise it, or whatever… it can become strongly entrenched in your identity. Even others, actually especially others will [...]
Things I learnt from self harm – Part 1
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: March 17, 2012
I thought I’d put together some ramblings about things that I learnt over the course of several years of injuring myself, mainly from cutting. This doesn’t sound like any experience you could learn from, especially when I’m only 18 and therefore not necessarily old enough to have “learnt” anything! However, on reflection, and after going [...]
Swingy swing.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: November 2, 2011
I can’t answer my phone. I can’t think of responses when people talk to me. I can’t sleep at night but I can’t stay awake during the day. I can’t find a reason of why I feel so bad, except for the fact I’m alive. I’m angry. I’m irritable. I have no emotion. I have [...]
A smart move.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: September 4, 2011
ALL of the consultant psychiatrists in my area (a grand total of… 2?) have decided to go away at the same time. We poor mentalists can either arrive screaming & mildly psychotic at the double doors of the psychiatric hospital, be told to “distract yourself” (the goddamn spiders are distracting me enough) by the duty [...]
Banned due to BPD.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: April 9, 2011
Dum dum dummm… No it’s not that exciting an update. In short, the reason that I’m not allowed to see a different psychiatrist or care co-ordinator (or have a second opinion, or seek therapy from a voluntary organization as I’m not allowed it on the NHS, or ask for help, or exist)… is because I [...]
Control.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: January 22, 2011
My eating disorder seems to have taken an unusual twist… not one that I’ve really heard or read about so it’s quite scary. I feel very ashamed & disgusting but, I seem to be addicted to actually buying food. I will spend loads of money on it, I will order takeaways 3 or 4 times [...]
I am pretty tired.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: January 7, 2011
- In: Food | Hospital
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At the risk of sounding overdramatic & attention-seeking, I had to have an ambulance called out again tonight. The problem settles down & I chose to stay at home & see my GP as soon as possible. But, sigh. I’ve just (semi) got over having to go to A+E for my mental health issues, like feeling [...]
Thought vomit – BPD & me.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: December 14, 2010
I am so glad to have a place I can just dump all my thoughts again. I apologise in advance if it’s less-than-well-written, my mind is in a strange place tonight. My diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is somewhat haunting me at the moment. I have a very clear memory of being in A+E this [...]
Stop press: Mentalism makes a comeback.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: June 23, 2010
Warning – This post contains strong and possibly disturbing references to self injury. Please don’t get any ideas from me or read this while in a vulnerable state. Oh yes. I’m seriously beginning to think the depression is returning once again. And my mood had been relatively stable and brighter and therapy became positive and [...]
I’m not the smartest person out.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: June 5, 2010
Two overdoses in six months? A+E and CAMHS must be sick of the sight of me. I got discharged this afternoon after seeing the on-call psychiatrist, with a follow-up appointment next week. Apparently I’m “overdoing things and need to take a step back”. Apparently, sheer stubbornness, ignorance and excuses like “I’m just being a teenager!” [...]
Shiny Awards
