Posts Tagged ‘depression’
Nothing of note to add.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: April 23, 2012
I guess I’m not been updating because I thought things were going well, but I have returned because they are not. Which means you get to put up with me, if you are reading. Sorry. The crisis team have been fantastic with me this time and not even putting the phone down when I start [...]
See bee ay.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: February 14, 2012
- In: CMHT | Depression
- 1 Comment
That “cba” feeling is reaching new levels of stupidity. Doctors can’t decide what’s wrong with me? If I killed myself, they wouldn’t have to bother. Friends wondering why I have no job and I can barely keep up with college? Wondering why I’m not happy? Killing myself would save having to answer repetitive questions. Bad [...]
Swingy swing.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: November 2, 2011
I can’t answer my phone. I can’t think of responses when people talk to me. I can’t sleep at night but I can’t stay awake during the day. I can’t find a reason of why I feel so bad, except for the fact I’m alive. I’m angry. I’m irritable. I have no emotion. I have [...]
Change on the horizon?…
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: September 1, 2011
Hello lovely ones in the madosphere! I have been terribly neglectful of late with this blog. So I shall provide a muchly narcisstic bullet-pointed list of how I’ve been over the past few months. I entered a crisis house for several weeks, after uh… going mad again! The big, black, back-breaking boulder of depression hit [...]
Five little monkeys, jumping on the bed.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: August 8, 2010
- In: Abuse | borderline personality disorder | CAMHS | Depression | Hospital | Mental Illness | Self harm
- 2 Comments
Things weren’t great, but I was safe to an extent. I’ve started self harming again, after almost 8 months free, which is bad but. I was getting out and doing stuff and trying to struggle on. One fell off and banged his head. The full punch-in-the-balls realisation about my past experiences has hit me. Hard. [...]
? query insult?
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 30, 2010
I’ve tried typing out this entry multiple times, but I’m too ashamed. I’m too ashamed to write because of my disability. It is a fact. It will take years to reach some stability. I will need support for my mental health condition and for day to day life for a long time. My life feels [...]
Tut.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 22, 2010
- In: Abuse | CAMHS | Depression | Hospital | Important "Life" Stuff
- 3 Comments
I should be sleeeeping. Although I’ve slept all day, apart from music tutoring and CAMHS, so I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m not tired. EastEnders are currently running a storyline focusing on the character Ronnie’s history of sexual abuse by her father. Not so great for my state of mind (see previous posts), but I [...]
A medley of topics.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 20, 2010
A friend from the psychiatric hospital I was in called me earlier – it was so weird to hear somebody say the name of the hospital and ward. They’re doing okay and going to be discharged soon. Some of them have been in there two years or more. I guess I got off lucky, being [...]
I could really use a wish right now.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 14, 2010
Listening to emotional classical music makes me think, so feel free to ignore what follows. (For people who really are that interested, I’m listening to Crystallized Beauty by Philip Sheppard.) First, I’d like to pose some questions. How would you feel if…. the person who was really nice to you, who you really got on [...]
A lot of questions.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 1, 2010
Why does my abuser have to be in touch? Why do I miss him? Why can’t I just shake off all this “mental health difficulties” stuff and just be normal? Why can’t I be happy? What is the matter with me?!?!?!
Shiny Awards
