Posts Tagged ‘reflections’
Taking on a new identity.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: May 24, 2012
Hopefully this won’t be offensive to anyone, in general, with its topic matter. Warning for discussions of self harm, eating distress and general madness. *** I think when one is first diagnosed with a mental health problem, or first realise it, or whatever… it can become strongly entrenched in your identity. Even others, actually especially others will [...]
Recovery of an unspecified nature.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: May 10, 2012
What, precisely, is recovery? Because this concept is starting to get my goat. The Mental Health Foundation describes it thus: What is recovery? For many people, the concept of recovery is about staying in control of their life despite experiencing a mental health problem. Professionals in the mental health sector often refer to the ‘recovery [...]
Borderline fail and becoming an “adult”.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: June 6, 2011
I am just one big ball of fail and drama teetering on the edge of the border line. Now that I’ve got the dramatic intro out of the way… I am feeling rather frustrated. I don’t quite know how the mental health services want you to work. If I don’t ring the crisis team tonight and [...]
Who am I really?
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: March 15, 2011
This is a big enough question when you’re a teenager, not quite a child and not quite an adult, but it seems like an even bigger question when you’re dealing with a mental illness. I think if you have difficulties as you’re growing up, there’s a risk you can almost think of it as part [...]
Thought vomit – BPD & me.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: December 14, 2010
I am so glad to have a place I can just dump all my thoughts again. I apologise in advance if it’s less-than-well-written, my mind is in a strange place tonight. My diagnosis of borderline personality disorder is somewhat haunting me at the moment. I have a very clear memory of being in A+E this [...]
Five little monkeys, jumping on the bed.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: August 8, 2010
- In: Abuse | borderline personality disorder | CAMHS | Depression | Hospital | Mental Illness | Self harm
- 2 Comments
Things weren’t great, but I was safe to an extent. I’ve started self harming again, after almost 8 months free, which is bad but. I was getting out and doing stuff and trying to struggle on. One fell off and banged his head. The full punch-in-the-balls realisation about my past experiences has hit me. Hard. [...]
Tiny hands.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 26, 2010
Very tiny hands and fingers, sticky from being in little mouths (and hopefully not somewhere else). Big eyes and huge mops of floppy hair. Little cherub faces, with a mouth that opens but may never speak. Their hands may never write much more than their name. Some cannot see, cannot hear. For some of them, [...]
A medley of topics.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: July 20, 2010
A friend from the psychiatric hospital I was in called me earlier – it was so weird to hear somebody say the name of the hospital and ward. They’re doing okay and going to be discharged soon. Some of them have been in there two years or more. I guess I got off lucky, being [...]
Citalopram.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: May 5, 2010
Tonight is my final night of taking that disgusting mirtazapine liquid! Woot! etc. etc. etc. I’m now safely onto my lil white citalopram tablets without much difficulty. They’re not as sedating as the mirtazapine, though, and I’m already feeling the effects on my sleep, but you win some and lose some. Yesterday was therapy and [...]
Raw.
Posted by: outwardlyintrovert on: April 26, 2010
I am raw. A child’s skinned knee, bleeding and shaking and sore to the touch. The pain is emotional, but it could kid you into thinking that it’s physical. There are screams in my head. No voices, just screams, why are people so obsessed with trying to get me labelled as having psychosis? “Are you [...]
Shiny Awards
