Living life on the borderline


Posted on: May 5, 2010

Tonight is my final night of taking that disgusting mirtazapine liquid! Woot! etc. etc. etc.

I’m now safely onto my lil white citalopram tablets without much difficulty. They’re not as sedating as the mirtazapine, though, and I’m already feeling the effects on my sleep, but you win some and lose some.

Yesterday was therapy and we, in part, discussed my BPD diagnosis and what it means for me. It means that I have to put it down on my Occy Health (Occupational Health) forms, which is a bitch, but it shouldn’t mean I’m discriminated against, which is cool. I can have a personality disorder and be an aspiring mental health worker at the same time. Oh, the glamour.

My moods are still up and down and round and round, like ever. I never realised quite how noticeable it was. With my friends, I can be a really confident person one minute, silent and almost visibly depressed the next, and the bitchiest person out the minute after that. If you add to that the fact that underneath all this mental health craziness, I’m also just a teenager with teenagerish mood swings, you can imagine what my dearest and nearest are having to put up with.

Thanks for all the comments on my last post. To be honest, I hadn’t given it much further thought, which I’m guessing is a good sign. I have been thinking a lot about the suicide attempt but not in that sense. The thoughts are there, under the surface but it’s nothing dangerous at the moment. At least, I don’t think it’s dangerous. But then I’m not exactly renowned (how do you spell that anyway? or even use that word properly?) for thinking straight at times.

I should really put some more forethought into what I’m writing on here and why. Expound my innermost feelings and thoughts, revealing a fantastic, sensitive, humourous insight into the world of growing up with a mental health condition. Or I could just blurt out stuff.

Yeah. I’ll do that.


1 Response to "Citalopram."

Citalopram. « Living life on the borderline….

I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog :)…

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About the blogger.

I'm an 18 year old girl/woman/person of the female gender who blogs about growing up, living with mental health problems and her experience with the NHS mental health services, both CAMHS and CMHTs. Expect plenty of teenage angst and general craziness. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

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