Living life on the borderline

? query insult?

Posted on: July 30, 2010

I’ve tried typing out this entry multiple times, but I’m too ashamed. I’m too ashamed to write because of my disability.

It is a fact. It will take years to reach some stability. I will need support for my mental health condition and for day to day life for a long time. My life feels written off already, because of the effect depression, BPD and PTSD has on my life. Because of the effect my disability has on my life.

I’m a write-off at 16.

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5 Responses to "? query insult?"

Maybe it will take years to recover fully, but it may not take years to reach “stability”. Maybe no one reaches stability, whether they have BPD and PTSD or not. Maybe that’s a myth. Maybe people are always falling over and getting back up, and falling over, and reaching out. I figure life is a bit like that for everyone. It’s just a case of recognising that it’s fine to not be a robot, and it’s OK to need people who care to help you out from time to time. Odds are, that you are there for other people and supporting them, without even realising it.

From what I know, people do the best that they can. You can’t be a “write-off” at 16, because at 16 you’re still growing. Without meaning to sound patronising, because I might have had the urge to throw something heavy at someone who said this to me at 16, but at 16 you still need support with mental illness or not. 16 is a horrible age where you don’t know if you are coming or going, anyone who says otherwise is likely to be fibbing to save face, or already has plenty of support but just doesn’t recognise it. At 16 nothing is decided. Yes you have extra crap to deal with, but you can deal with it. It’s a bitter sweet deal, but not without it’s advantages when you get to the other end. Blimey OI, give yourself a break hon. And if anyone else calls you a write off, then let me know and I’ll get the live eel out 🙂

Lola x

Thanks :). I think I’m just feeling bitchy because I’m now officially registered as “disabled” and it’s doing my head in. Being a teenager sucks anyway, like you said! Being a mentalist at 16 sucks even worse but..

I guess I see what you mean. If I didn’t have the difficulties I do, I may never even of thought of going into the kind of work I’m in, and I’d’ve never experienced the happiness I do from it. And I secretly think most teenagers would meet the criteria for BPD anyway, but just pretend I never said that!

Thank you again xx

Having mental health issues does not make you a write off. I know it sucks when you’re young and already you have all these issues, I’m 18 so I can relate. But even though you may be classed as having a disability now, doesn’t mean that you’re always going to be dealing with your mental health issues forever, for the rest of your life. Maybe if you’re going through all this now, it means that in the future you’ll get a reprieve and things will improve for you. And for others, maybe they’ll have a great life in their teens, but later on they’ll encounter hardship. My point being that even though now you’re classed as having a disability, doesn’t mean it’ll be that way in the future and does not make you a write off because there is still a chance for you to recover.

Take care,
Cassie x

Thanks Cassie… I hope that I won’t be dealing with all this forever.

I’m gonna add you to my blogroll, hope that’s okay

outwardly x

Of course that’s okay!
I’ll add you to mine too 🙂

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About the blogger.

I'm an 18 year old girl/woman/person of the female gender who blogs about growing up, living with mental health problems and her experience with the NHS mental health services, both CAMHS and CMHTs. Expect plenty of teenage angst and general craziness. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

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