Living life on the borderline


Posted on: March 6, 2011

You know that feeling when you have a million words & thoughts in your head & you have no way of expressing them?

For the past few days I’ve been wondering if my mood was going a little bit too high. I had an (understandable) drop in mood when I lost two friends in one week. The funerals were hard. Again, I can’t really explain a lot due to anonymous..ness… & the fact that one has been in the news recently so I’m trying to distance myself as much as possible. But yes, I lost two very dear friends in different circumstances within days of each other. So things have not been great.

The fired-up, electric feeling was sparking up, along with a brilliant burst of creativity & energy. Now I love the creativity. & to an extent, I love having energy. That day or so of increased activity can be useful at times. Obviously though, it will get too far. I have no words to express how it goes too far, everything is super-charged & I end up thinking I’m on some sort of mission & I will upset people & storm out of college & end up being chased by a paramedic or something.

So now I’m waiting for the crisis team to return my two phonecalls over the past 6 hour period. I realise they have other people to contact, but this happened earlier in the week as well. My team are in a blissful state of positivity, believing that I’m coping fine. Oh, all I do is complain on this blog. I promise I will write something more positive soon.

Damn Sundays. Damn culture-of-only-going-mental-between-9-&-5-Monday-to-Friday.


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About the blogger.

I'm an 18 year old girl/woman/person of the female gender who blogs about growing up, living with mental health problems and her experience with the NHS mental health services, both CAMHS and CMHTs. Expect plenty of teenage angst and general craziness. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

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