Living life on the borderline


Posted on: March 25, 2011

For the past few weeks, I’ve been gently simmering in a pot of curious thoughts, lack of sleep, unhealthy food & far too much coffee. I’m acutely aware that according to my mental health team at my last appointment, if things get/ever get too bad then my family do have the power to section me. Which does not make sense. I thought sectioning was a last resort? I thought if I really needed inpatient care, it would’ve been offered by now so I could go in voluntarily, rather than being told “get over yourself, but if you can’t, call the police”.

Anyway, at the appointment, my family were adament that they didn’t want to have the responsibility of sectioning me if it came to that, but it seems they are changing their mind – at least about me going into hospital for a while. It just doesn’t make sense. I prepared well for my appointment; I had books, printouts, notes, I’d done my research on personality disorders & criteria & I took notes during the appointment but it still makes no sense. I’m questioning the diagnosis of BPD even more now. I’m questioning whether I need the mental health services at all. I feel like maybe it’s all a conspiracy. What they are conspiring to, I don’t know, but I definitely feel as though people are planning something.

I was sort of diagnosed with a manic episode, which also makes no sense. “I have BPD”, right? Manic episodes are not part of that. I am always getting told that I don’t have psychosis, so the thoughts that I have are obviously sensible cognitions from a well functioning mind. & therefore there is no point in explaining this to any of the team. & therefore I don’t need sectioning or hospital or mental health teams or anything. I’ve been told that I’ve never suffered psychosis or mania in the past, so I won’t develop it now. All that I need to do is distract myself, I do not need a mental health team to help me distract myself – I am not stupid. There is clearly absolutely nothing wrong with me, so I don’t understand why mania & sectioning & stupid stuff are being mentioned. It’s all a contradiction & a conspiracy.

I will probably edit this later because I don’t want this to fall into the wrong hands.


2 Responses to "Sectioned."

OK, I am not a professional as well you know – but this sounds like bollocks to me. As I understand it, both bipolar disorder and psychotic illness often (maybe even usually) tend to first onset in late teens or 20s – so there’s no reason of which I’m aware for them to suggest you “won’t develop it now”. Furthermore, I have BPD and psychosis – I’ve been told several times that that doesn’t change my diagnosis, because the two “quite commonly” co-occur.

Whatever the case, I don’t blame you for being weary of them, outwardly. As you’ve probably read in my recent posts, I’m increasingly coming to the conclusion that they only really care if you’re imminently going to do yourself in – and then it’s only because they’re scared of getting into trouble. Wankers.

The good news is that they’re not all like that. Can you look into second opinions, contact PALS or Rethink or something? You deserve more security and better answers than what you seem to be getting at present.

Lots of hugs hun

Pan xxx

i have had 3 opinions and dont believe i have bpd some people say you can be sectioned some say you cant can you help me with this query

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About the blogger.

I'm an 18 year old girl/woman/person of the female gender who blogs about growing up, living with mental health problems and her experience with the NHS mental health services, both CAMHS and CMHTs. Expect plenty of teenage angst and general craziness. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

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