Living life on the borderline

Diagnostic nonsense

Posted on: October 26, 2011

Oh ICD, how much I loathe thee!

Do we use ICD in UK or is DSM? Pretty sure it’s ICD? Hmm.

I am somewhat hyper/manic/hypomanic/off-my-head. Usual routine of stopping antidepressant and “watching and waiting”, except now I have stuff to knock me out at night. Staying awake and perfectly coherent (for a manic person) until 5am isn’t great for daily functioning, but does wonders for your scores on Xbox games.

I’m not diagnosed as having bipolar disorder, but the magic 8 ball seems to be pointing that way. If I haven’t come down within a few weeks, or if I get any… uh… manic-er, then I have to get back in touch with the mental health team and they will… do something. I’d preferably like to be normal again in time for college. I never know I’ve got into this state until I’m actually in it and I can’t focus on reading but random words that aren’t actually in the text keep jumping out of the page. Not an advisable state for research.

Sorry if this post doesn’t really make any sense. Nothing is actually making sense in either input or output. The only thing that seems to keep me here is singing or tapping my fingers on everything. I don’t think I’m even real anymore, I saw some friends earlier and they didn’t see me at first until I was practically in their faces and then they were just looking everywhere else but me. I’m scared that something is taking over my head and dissolving me.

This needs to stop, please. It’s destroying my life.

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2 Responses to "Diagnostic nonsense"

im so sorry youre feelin this way, i hope they help if you do need to reach out for help, take care x

Thanks, Alice, really appreciate you taking the time to reply. x

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About the blogger.

I'm an 18 year old girl/woman/person of the female gender who blogs about growing up, living with mental health problems and her experience with the NHS mental health services, both CAMHS and CMHTs. Expect plenty of teenage angst and general craziness. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

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